Monday, February 13, 2012

I, Masochist

I can't stop peeking through my fingers at the carnage, the aftermath, the bruised and bloodied form of our society stretched out among the shards of glass on the side of the road. We could see the collision as it unfolded because history, that repetitious asshole, has shown us what happens when you concentrate wealth, gut regulation, and poke your tax code full of holes.

Americans from sea to shining sea want to know who is going to fix this mess? Answers come from all sides. We pick and choose that which suits us. A Chinese menu of solutions.

A young man on the right toys with his drink, places his order. Um, I'll have the tax cuts with more deregulation on the side. Oh, and hold the entitlements.

There they were on the television. Angry white people sneering into microphones. Angrier white people trying to hook up with each other made up the audience. The CPAC turned C-SPAN into one hellacious hate fest. Rage against the machine that is government, liberals, elites, taxes, regulation, teleprompters, pro-abortion atheists, Democrats, welfare queens, entitlements, poor people, lovers of European-style Socialism, practitioners of Chicago-style politics, Massachusetts, New York and California, the lamestream media, Occupiers, gun control freaks, homosexuals and people who refuse to learn English. Those haters of all things America. The blame America first crowd. The apologizers and appeasers.

There was no mention of drowning government bureaucrats in bathtubs, but there were lots of references to Obama. Please do take note. Obama. Not President Obama.

Grover Norquist wants to rule the world without taxes. Sarah Palin wants to deliver real Americans from progressive evil and into the welcoming arms of free market capitalism. Her mean mouth formed sharp words with which to stab at crony capitalism. Without the slightest hint of irony, her scorn for those who would use their political positions to gain wealth was palpable. You could see it coming off her in waves.

The crowd was hungry for this kind of lovin'. Cameras flashed. I held my hand to my forehead, was I flushed? Was this the equivalent of a good mental spanking? Would this scratch my itch, my need for a little punishment for my loose morals and liberal ideology? But that's redundant, isn't it?

I closed my eyes and soaked in their fury, marinated in the blood of their Christ who railed about sex and preached the gospel of prosperity. I could smell the green ink of the dollar bill. A vision of Ronald Reagan swaddled in red, white and blue bunting came to me as I moved closer to the television. I had to see the fire in their eyes, the exact curve of their lips where the spittle of righteousness gathered, their pores a thousand points of light, I'm sure, if only we had high def.

The crowd roared its approval. I drew back to see the big picture. Sarah Palin in her perfectly-fitted red suit body surfing the crowd, the young disciples passing her, smiling and waving, over their heads. A country singer crooned over the rapturous noise "She's not just a pretty face......."

29 comments:

  1. Her scorn for those who would use their political positions to gain wealth was palpable. You could see it coming off her in waves.
    She should know all about that.

    Or was she talking about others that use political positions to steal from the government to enrich themselves and their friends??

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    1. I don't think she's capable of self reflection so she's talking about all those other grifters.

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  2. Is there an election this year or something?

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    1. You could call it that. It's not exactly accurate, but it's the closest thing we've got.

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  3. Somehow I managed to ignore CPAC and didn't watch any of it. I am looking forward to watching the Westminster Dog Show tonight. The dogs probably have more brains than any of those morons at CPAC. The CPAC people are definitely a scary bunch. And you know what? If Ronald Reagan were really to return and see what his party had become, he would be disgusted. I was no fan of the man, but what passes for conservatives these days would have probably not even nominated him for president -- he was too liberal compared to them. And he raised taxes!

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    1. I think what we're seeing is the logic of no taxes/no regulation/gov't is the problem that President Reagan pushed reaching its conclusions. I realize it's easier to be for things than it is to be against things. Of course, the danger with being for things is that you've got to control yourself. You can't go berzerker that way without ending up with a boatload of unintended consequences.

      But this is a society and we know that laissez-faire is a losing policy. We've seen it time and time again.

      What did you think of the Pekingnese?

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  4. Is it wrong that in my head, I hear Ginsberg reading that while Miles Davis plays softly in the background?

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    1. That's a great compliment, BSR. Thank you.

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  5. This is some of the best political writing I've ever read. You should be published in The Nation or Mother Jones.

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    1. Awww! Thank you. This one was fun to write. When I'm enjoying the writing of a piece, I think it shows.

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  6. Gawd if only we could fast forward through all this muck!

    Enjoy this expletive adjective clip:

    http://www.markfiore.com/political-cartoons/watch-super-PAC-mad-libs-campaign-newt-gingrich-mitt-romney-animated-video-mark-fiore-political-animation


    Note $2.4 billion was spent on the 2008 presidential election.

    But with Super PAC no-holds-barred $, do you think the top 2 candidates will spend over $4 billion on hot air, I mean air time commercials & freaking yard signs?
    Yes, I think they will. The finest politicians $$$$$ can buy?

    As for " I'll have the tax cuts with more deregulation on the side. Oh, and hold the entitlements."

    You would think the most simple minded would have figured out the Wall Street meltdown was the direct result of deregulation, tax cuts are really only for the rich, and the entitlements are the freaking programs working people have paid into all their working lives. They are called entitlements because you are in fact entitled to those benefits!

    Do they put stuff in the drinking water to convince people otherwise?

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    1. Didn't you hear....SuperPAC's are okay now...even President Obama uses them...

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    2. Fran, I'm not sure if it's the drinking water. I mean, I've been drinking the tap water here for over eight years and I'm as progressive as ever.

      Jonah! They're still not okay. We need to overturn Citizens United. That ruling is serving no one except the .001.

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  7. I've been listening to Talk Radio as penance for my Howard Stern Addiction. I can now swear thoroughly from BOTH sides of my mouth.

    Oh, and for the record? I only made it through 2 minutes of Rush before loudly announcing that he was a dink. I think I scared the new guy. [It was bound to happen sooner or later...]

    I'm making candy bar brownies to take in as an apology.

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  8. Thanks for reminding me why I don't have television.

    I just don't understand these assholes at all. They don't make logical sense and yet they act all righteous and pious--yet they are the most corrupt of all. Ugh!!!

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    1. It's as if the Bush years never happened.

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  9. Replies
    1. From your lips, to the vote counts.

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  10. This is simply marvellous writing, Lisa, and deserves a much wider public.

    If the USA does elect Gingritch or Santorum, I suggest you apply for political asylum somewhere in Europe; sometimes when I listen to the rantings of the American right I hear the echoes of Adolf in Nuremberg.

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    1. Thank you, Francis. What I'm having trouble with is the idea that by doing more of what got us into this mess, we'll get out of it. It's absurd.

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  11. Why didn't I see this yesterday? Oh, right; brief bout of work.

    I may have to link this.

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    1. Argggh. I'm not getting my comment notifications from blogger. Sorry for the delay in thanking you.

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  12. I think you ought to take a look at Paul Ryan's speech at the same event...very even-handed, red-meat taunting, and a message about what this election really ought to be like

    text here:
    http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/290721/text-paul-ryans-cpac-speech-nr-staff

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    1. Big oops..meant to say NO red-meat taunting

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    2. Thanks for the link. I missed his speech while I was taking Sophie to the doctor.

      Ryan was on MSNBC talking to Luke Russert earlier this morning and he seemed more circumspect about the realities of the budget deficit.

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  13. Thanks for taking one for the Blue Team, Lisa. And good job o' 'splainin' it to me.

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  14. Excellent writing here, Lisa.

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